Snow! Everywhere. I took a risk and discovered I was one of three uber and Lyft drivers that night. It wasn’t that bad, just super busy. I only got stuck a couple of times on a few hills but I would just reverse down the hill and find a different route. My initial rider was a bloke stranded in Ferndale. His car was in a ditch by a church. Poor bugger. He told me he took a corner too quick and literally fell into a ditch. The icy road caused him to lose traction. I could certainly feel how slippery it was. Obviously I took better care than this young fella. He works at the aluminium refinery Alcoa and says it’s a pretty good gig. The bloke was ever so thankful for me saving him from the ice and snow.
Leaving my passenger at his home I made my way south to Bellingham where I got a ride notification from a 49ers fan. He was a staffing manager with his team’s hat placed snugly on his crown. My word the excitement and enthusiasm of this guy was just unbelievable, but I guess warranted. His team is on it’s way to the Super Bowl and it the time was going up against Green Bay that weekend.
Now nothing could prepare me for my next classic rider. The ping was activated all the way north to the casino. A drunken shiela that took forever to appear. She hugged a random security guard and observed my vehicle with such confusion. She yelled “this is a Lyft, not an uber!” I proceeded to move my window down. I yelled her name, she paused and looked right at me and responded “yes!” She opens the door and sits down in the front. “You’re a good person, I can tell”. She said. “Why thank you”. We exited the casino Carpark and made our way east and then south. “How many hands do you need to drive?” Thought she was upset that I was only using one hand to drive. “One, but two if you feel more comfortable”. She held my hand and started interrogating me. This spinster claimed she was a clairvoyant. “You married?” She asked, “Yes, why?” Then she tried to guess her name. How wrong she was. Next she said that I’m pregnant and congratulations! I told her that’s impossible and explained why? She said “no you’re going to have a girl called Ranessa”. Oh how wrong she was. Then she proceeded to hold my hand and ask about my siblings. 🙄 I don’t have any! Except a stepsister whom I have only spoken to on Skype. She said I should talk to her more. I said “I have never met her in person”. This lady was totally bonkers and was extremely invasive with her questions. Not to mention the thought of children freaks the hell out, she wouldn’t give up on that one. She just didn’t understand my situation. Then finally music from the band Poison came on and shut her up. Every Rose Has it’s Thorns. She finally changed the subject and went on about how her first love was the lead guitarist from that band. Yes C.C DeVille. Wow OK a former groupie and now a crackpot clairvoyant. I mean I humoured her at the beginning, but bloody hell. The song brought back heartbreak for her and to be honest, I started to feel a little sorry for her. She stopped me at a petrol station to get a few things. I sat and I wrote all this crazy stuff down. She was pure gold. After her purchases she spoke of an affair she had with this guitarist again as recent as 2015! Crikey crumbs. Don’t tell me this! She could have been telling me porkies the whole way, but I really wasn’t sure. She even went into greater detail about the musician that I didn’t expect. His actual name to his family’s names. Wife and all. Hmmm…
After finally getting to her house. I got so far away from her as possible. I’ve met a lot of weirdos doing this kind of work, but she took the cake. I’ve had blokes hit on me, people asking me to do Australian things, and now this one. Ping! A manager from T Mobile and three young lads that don’t work with him. Just students. One student did plan events at the Bellwether Hotel.
Then I got a shiela who booked an uber on behalf of her boyfriend. So yeah always confusing. He works at a music shop in town and lives the eclectic mix of people coming into the store. From drugged up hippies to tge homeless to amateur musos. Then I told him about my fantastic lady prior to his pickup. His hysterical laughter couldn’t contain him. Then we both saw a skier attempting to ski the road on a flat surface. We both thought he couldn’t ski very well. Honesty I’ve never used skis in my life. Probably would be flat on my face in 5 minutes of using them.
Next passenger was a librarian who hates books. Nah, just kidding she loves them. In fact no she wasn’t a librarian at all. Her name just reflected a librarians name, Beatrice. She’s only 22 and people always expect an 80 year old. Poor thing. Following on I had a bloke who quit commercial fishing to sell weed.
Students! One thought I was South African. Great! No Australian. The three sheilas were discussing their degrees and I eventually plonked them off. When I received a call from one of them later. “One of our phones must be in your car! Help!” Uh oh! I was already heading to my next customer. As I rolled up to my next rider I looked on the seat nothing. Then I saw something shine on the floor. A phone! Luckily my new passengers were going back to the direction I was going. Literally the same dorm aka college on the University campus. These passengers were obsessed with quokkas! Who isn’t though? Dropping them off I rang the lady who called me prior to my other pickup. The owner of the phone ran out and thanked me. “No worries”.
One lady gave me pizza that night because she had a surplus of pizza. She works at a pizza joint in Fairdinkumhaven and gets free food every day. I also lost traction in her car park. She thanked me for getting her home safely.
More students…including A few who wanted taco bell. Yes that time of the evening the drunks are out and about. I made sure they didn’t eat anything in my car. They understood and appreciated my honesty. They were also willing to get me some taco bell, but I respectfully declined. “Mate I’m simply not drunk enough for that kind of food”.
Another onslaught of students. With an artist who owns her own art studio. Then a bloke named Dakota. He was not Native American by any means, but he knew his “hippie” parent’s liked the name. Dakota are people from the upper Mississippi valley. I liked this bloke. He is a bartender at a new cocktail bar in town called the Back Door. It is next to Boundary Bay Brewery. He gave me a 50% off my first round because he like the convo we had.
Finally an art history major and two blokes called Hayley. OK that was booked by a lady on behalf of these two. Phew what a night! 15 trips uber. 12 rides Lyft.
