Rural Australia can be a harsh location. If you don’t have the necessary shopping centres near by, well you have to make it work. One passenger tried to describ his uncle’s mate to me. He told me that his uncle’s lady friend lives in the outback hours away from civilization. She only spends $1000 a year on groceries to get by. Shopping only one day a year, but buys in bulk. I thought to myself how? He couldn’t tell me what she bought, only that she is very frugal. My passenger couldn’t recall where she lived or what she did for a living, I tried to figure out where she lives by the location and landscape, but unfortunately couldn’t pinpoint the area. He wasn’t very descriptive only that he knew what she spent on groceries and that there aren’t too many paved roads to get to her house. Australia is a big bloody place and I could only think of western Victoria or western New South Wales. It wasn’t desert, but was in the bush somewhere. I personally have been to some extremely remote locations but with enough supplies to last a week. You have to be prepared for harsh locations otherwise you can die. Snake bites, heat exhaustion, getting lost, slips, trips, and falls are you’re biggest enemy. Not to mention the obligatory kangaroo, which can jump out at in front of your car at any moment.
I couldn’t help but think of a mate of mine, Warlpa, who invited me to go and visit archaeological sites in western NSW. Life got in the way and unfortunately I never got to travel to Wilcannia. He was an indigenous man who was a master of stone tool production. He has a great sense of humour and a sharp mind. I remember him putting me on the spot in Jordan after one my talks about cultural landscapes. I reassured him though and said it was from a white fella’s perspective, we can never fully comprehend what the land means to someone unless we’re in their shoes. We can sympathise, be respectful, but that’s it. I’ve heard miners, home developers, and contractors ask me why do I care? My response ranges from “if we don’t, then no one will, and that we could lose a major part of history” I have tried to express myself in other ways by saying “if I kicked the crap out your grandmothers or relatives grave then you wouldn’t be very happy about it would you?” “Or if I came into your house and just started to take crap out of your fridge or I dug a hole in your living room you wouldn’t like it would you?” It’s not easy to describe to someone who doesn’t get it or doesn’tgive a crap. It is frustrating and can ruin your day. Some people do understand, but it can be a rarity. The remote locations in Australia are where traditional owner culture can still thrive, although the built up areas can still have remnants and memories from a time much more sustainable than ours today. Identity can be very important when society becomes diluted with the modern way of life.
My next person was a very strong Bernir Sanders supporter. He agreed with me on matters like universal healthcare and social values. The United States has dangerously dropped into an oligarchy. If you don’t have money then your voting prospects are greatly diminished unfortunately. Two party preferences in western countries dangerously show that we’re only a few steps away from a dictatorship. There’s hardly a third option in the USA, whereas Australia does have alternatives. Independent parties appear on a regular basis. The Greens, One Nation and even the Shooters and Fishing Parties all make an appearance at the ballot box. Yes Prime Ministers swing from left to right on a regular basis, however at least the Senate has a variety of wankers who mean well. In various countries like Sweden and Croatia there have been independent Prime Ministers. In Mongolia you have to have no political affiliations to run the country.
Following on from an intense political discussion with the previous passenger I had an English literature major in my car. A student who quizzed me on burial grounds around the world. She wanted to know about how they’re managed and how certain sites are mitigated. Obviously I told her about NAGPRA in the USA and how it is a legislative document to protect Native American traditional burials.
Shortly after dropping her off I picked up a lady who according to her, “wipes peoples butts for a living”. Oh wow okay thanks for sharing. She then told me she works in aged care. Hope you washed your hands before you came into my car. 🤨
More people graced my car including students. The gambler who paid me handsomely and an engineer from California. A welder, biologist, and a transport company owner. All with general knowledge about Australia and an interest in archaeology. Then a distributor with an Aussie connection to a company called Jack Max.
Now a nurse who was genuinely concerned about the coronavirus stating that the USA doesn’t have the capacity or resources to look after thousands of potential patients. The current healthcare system is not equipped for mass amounts of people with a severe disease. Things were getting worse and governments weren’t acting quick enough to stop the spread.
A tech doing his masters was looking for a job in IT. He had great hope he’d find a job with a very competitive market. Good luck mate. With another nurse and aged care professional in my car to follow. People were starting to raise concerns about the epidemic taking hold. “Whatcom County, cannot handle it!”
All diseases aside I had a Vietnamese bloke needing a ride home. I talked to him at length about his home country including all the places I had been, however he brought up that the longest ever cave was found accidentally by a local farmer in 1990. The cave appears on film in the new Kong: Escape from Skull Island. Showing the world the massive subterranean network for the first time on the big screen. I was flabbergasted! I thought it was the locals would have filmed it by now! No they hadn’t. According to the National Geographic, more people have stood on Mt Everest than have explored this cave system. Incredible.
More students, one claimed to be a bad ass Motherf@#$%×+. Then a bloke who asked me this “Have you ever ever seen a kangaroo?”🤦♂️🙍♂️”Mate they’re like rats, they’re everywhere, we even ride them to school”. Even his mate said that was the stupidest question he could have asked me. I laughed, and told him “they’re really like deer, they’ll hang out in ya backyard waiting to box you if you’re not careful”.
My next two blokes were beer distributors who travel around selling beer. What a life! They then joked about Fosters and then I gave them a lesson on how Fosters was started up by a couple of yanks in Victoria. How it is not drunk by a single Aussie unless it’s other version Light Ice. Japan owns Fosters anyway now, so you can’t get as far away from Australia as that. Coopers Pale Ale is one of Australia’s oldest breweries and it ships to the USA. Another Aussie classic known as James Boags used to be shipped here in the US up until October last year. I still have two six packs left. I’m savouring for a rainy day. It’s the only brewery tour I went on with my dad before I was legal age in Tassie. The main memory I have from that tour is one bloke dropping to his knees and yelling “I’m not worthy I’m not worthy”. Hilarious, it was like he was at the steps of the Sistine Chapel seeing the Pope for the first time. The Cascade Brewery was shut on that day, yet the Boags one was open. The water in Tasmania is similar to Washington. Cold and crisp.
A Canadian furniture distributor followed and I couldn’t help wonder about the amount of different distributors I had in one night. Next was a woman who found out I was an Aussie and said the diabolical line “throw another shrimp on the barbie”. “They’re prawns!” I yelled. I honestly don’t go to an American and say “Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn!” or “Doh!” It’s just plain dumb. I get it one liners are great, but it doesn’t make sense to start off with that. You wouldn’t go up to an African and say ran from any lions today? Or start clicking at them in Bushman. It’s just bloody rude.
The next was a lady who told me her friend is applying for permanent residence in Australia as a de facto. That’s right no marriage necessary. She loves her friend and sees the benefit of being in Australia. Good for them. After I plonked the passenger at their home I punched in home on my app so I only would recieve pings on the way home. Then I got a ping, a bloke who ordered an uber was to the south of me when I was deciding to go home. What the heck uber?! Destination address is supposed to take me north not south. Irritated I picked up another furniture man who wanted cocaine and asked me where I can get some? “Mate you’re talking to the wrong guy, I don’t touch the stuff and the only place I can think of is somewhere on Holly Street you might find a tweaker who can help”.
Finally my last customer on the way home this time was a gentleman. Okay not really a gentleman. He picked up a sheila at the bar and was going to go back to her place. The woman only had two beers and opted to drive instead of getting an uber. She was pulled over by the cops. The reason why they pulled her over was she didn’t have her headlights on. They need a reason to pull you over in the States. No random breatho checks here. They then asked if she had been drinking and when to breathalyse her. She said no and requested a lawyer. They arrested her. Now fun fact according to my passenger that was a smart thing to do. Better to be thrown in the slammer for a few days for you to sober up and then do the breatho with a lawyer present. Obviously by then it would be zero and you won’t get a DUI on your record. Wow you can still go to Canada if you get picked up.
13 rides Lyft and 10 trips uber. More rides and adventures to come!
