The night started slow and seemed like a real grind at first. My first passengers were a primary school teacher and a lady who works for a digital signature company. I picked them up at the hotel across the road from Fred Meyer. We talked about their career choices. Then they asked me. Of course I told them I am an archaeologist. However I was pretty excited to tell them about my blog and the logo I had managed to conjure up for my uber exploits. The funny thing is that the logo is so incredibly awesome that I believe it should be worn by people. T-shirts, hats, shorts, jumpers, and beanies. All would be fantastic. It’s a commanding logo that I just wanted to show it off to nearly every passenger. See a separate post about the logo. The meaning it holds etc. I dropped them off at Naan and Brew I told them both to eat the mango chicken curry. They said they will definitely try that.
Next was a bank auditor. He was extremely concerned about the economy in 12 months time. He told me to be prepared for worst recession this country has ever seen! Really? Why’s that? He said that the USA will be defaulting on most of their debts and pretty much be back to square one again. Wow! That sounds terrifying. Australia is apparently doing pretty well according to him and told me to go back. Oh crikey. He apparently knows one of the executives for Australian Super Fund. He said Australia’s more socialist governmental system has worked well and is why the economy has done, so well over the years. He’s probably right, the last major economic recession happened back in the 80s. The lucky country has also benefited from China and a boom in the resources industry. Iron ore, coal, oil, gas, bauxite, gold, diamonds, and uranium. Australia also has a very proud farm and agricultural industry. Sheep, cattle, fruit, vegetables, wheat, and sugar. This guy was freaking me out a little, because I’m in no way ready for such a recession. I’ve never lived through one as an adult and have only heard doom and gloom stories. He told me to invest into gold and cryptocurrency. Hmmm…
After dropping him off at a restaurant on Holly Street, he wished me good luck and all the best. Shook my hand and went on his way. Then another ping to the north of me. I was heading to the airport anyway. I couldn’t find my new customers apartments. Thanks uber app. After several wrong turns and a few phone calls. I realised it was on the next street over. Two young ladies. They sounded the same. They were going to a house party. They sounded like chipmunks as in Alvin and the chipmunks. One worked as a kindergarten teacher and the other worked at a baby store. I said do they sell babies there? Haha no was the response. Oh sorry. They sold bibs, dummies aka pacifiers, prams aka strollers, and other baby accessories. Then it dawned on me, are you both twins? Yes! That makes sense then! I told them to get their own youtube channel. Apparently I wasn’t the first one to tell them that. Well I couldn’t help but laugh at how they would talk and finish each other’s sentences and laugh in a chipmunky certain way.
After dropping them i thought I’d head to the airport for a while. Then another ping. Then they cancelled. Why? Travis, why? That’s right I had waited at the airport for an hour stupidly. This is the first week back at college and I sat at the airport for a stupid amount of time. I was listening to the AFL grand final Giants vs Richmond. The Giants, my team was losing horribly. That’s frustrating, their first maiden grand final. Then a ping. His name was Judd and he was back from Virginia. He works at a gas refinery. He’s barely home, but gets stupid money to monitor hydrocarbon leaks. This time he is home and he needs a new toy. A new car to drive all the way back to the east coast. His house was pretty far East. He had with him three massive bags. I mean you want to have as much with you as possible, but I honestly would have one big bag and one carry on. That’s how I travel these days. No matter where I go. I don’t want the added stress of trying to cart around a huge amount with me all the time.
After dropping him off I made my way back in town. Now I have two firefighters in my car and a lady who didn’t tell me what she did. The fireys, we’re talking my ear off about intense fires in California. I said I fought a fire once. I actually did help fight a fire in San Diego at a wind farm project. I was with the Native Americans and we were monitoring a rock breaker. Making sure it didn’t go into any archaeological sites. It was tedious. Then a spark! Fair Dinkum! I called everyone and told them to evacuate. The native Americans ran in with fire extinguishers. Then one yells at me to grab a shovel. So I did. I went to thr car and grabbed the shovel from the back of my rental and ran in. I was at the rear of the fire dumping dirt on the fire. Putting it out. Then the water trucks came and a few guys with water pumps. We were trying our hardest. Then the fire brigade showed up. That’s when the wind picked up and it became really hard for us to manage, so we evacuated and we went on our way to a staging area by a casino. We had a shorter day that day. As in turns out it turned into a 25 acre fire. California is extremely dry and it doesn’t take much for it to start. The Native American and I said oh we’ll be commended for that for sure. Nope next morning the safety inspector said we weren’t wearing gloves when we were operating the shovels. Look mate we were a little bit more concerned with the fire breaking out. We had a meeting with the fire marshal and how things went down. It dawned on me that the fire marshals have guns in this country. Why? Apparently it’s a first responder thing.
Then after dropping them off I went to find a dunny aka toilet. As I went in the restroom I missed a ping. Every time! Dammit. Yep every time I go to the bathroom I’ll miss a ping if my app is turned on. Then after I was done I managed to get another customer. She was from Hong Kong and I told her I only know how to swear in Cantonese. She said that’s all you need. Is it though? She wanted to teach English when she finished uni. Definitely do it. You get paid really well to teach English. You can also teach them the English swear words. ☺
Then I had two business students. Really don’t have much to say about them, so moving on.
A DJ was my next customer. He was pretty stoked that I was an Australian and he was rattling off all these bands from down under I have never heard of. Then there were some I knew. I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to music. Especially bands that sound like Dubstep. Then I told him about my new logo and that shirts are coming. He said he loves merch. Merchandise. I said get in line. I have a lot to figure out.
Now here’s the rider we’ve all been waiting for. His name. John. Yep. That’s his name. He didn’t seem the least bit drunk. We discussed his future career path. He’ll be graduating soon. Business was his major. We chatted about finance and various strategies to make money, then it happened. 1 minute away from his house he made a noise as if he wanted to stop at a random house on the way. “You wanna stop here?” “Blurgghhh!” 🤢🤮. For the first time in my entire driving career this man puked in my car. Straight ahead. He was in the front passenger seat. Orange puke splatted everywhere, in front. The vent, the carpet, the windscreen aka windshield, the door. I stopped the car and he stood out site puking. I sat there staring at the puke. Yuck. Mortified. I sat in silence. Then said “why didn’t you tell me?” “I have sick bags!” “Are you OK?” “Are you going to clean that up?” He replied “yes, I feel better now”. I had no way of knowing how sick he was. But, John now known as pukey mcpukeface had just projectile splatter vomited in my front seat. He said he’ll try to clean it up, now he seemed more drunk than he did before. Strewth! He sat in his own puke and exclaimed “I’m so embarrassed”. I reluctantly replied “it happens to the best of us”. “He said I’ll pay you $80 or $20 if I clean up myself”. “Yeah good”. Then a ping from another rider it’s now busy and I have to deal with this! I had not finished my ride and I get another customer wanting a ride.
We arrived at his place. The smell of the orange splatter was overpowering. Pukey went into his house and grabbed paper towel and wet wipes. I left the uber app meter ticking. whilst I waited for him. Meanwhile, I took photos of the dark orange Jackson Pollock wannabe artwork. Just in case the new artist didn’t clean up his mess properly. Thank God I did, because he didn’t do a good job. He missed my glove box, air vent, sun visor, and a few crevices. When I left I could still get a whiff every now and then of vomit. I got another customer needing a ride. Now I had two options go home or keep working. My backseat is clean, but my front still needs work. Oh yeah he never paid me the extra cash that he promised me. I wanted to ring uber about it, but my night got busy, like surge busy, meaning now I get more money per ping. Fine I’ll keep working.
My next customer needed to be picked up from a nightclub. I rang ahead and asked him how many people? Two. Great sit in the back. I told the two passengers about pukey. Yuck, apparently it didn’t smell like puke. Thanks for the reassurance. I dropped them off and the guy tripped over on the footpath as I was turning around. I called out to him. “You alright mate?” “Yeah!” He was being a goof and his lady friend was either encouraging him or super nervous about the whole situation.
Again another ping. “How many people?” “Two”. “Great.” Arrived at pickup location. “That’s four people, that’s why I rang ahead!” “Yep, Sorry they wanted to join us, it’s fine”. The gentleman found out about the puke and said “am I sitting in puke right now?” “No, it has been cleaned, I just don’t know how well.” The drive was obviously awkward because I could smell the puke still, everyone said it smelled fine. Yeah let me just trust a drunk. I dropped them, we didn’t talk too much only about my traumatic evening of me dealing with this awful situation.
My next customer i rang ahead again and the lady said “sorry for the puke.” “It’s fine, it wasn’t you”.
Again I rang my next passenger and told her to sit in the back. “How many is there?” “Two.” “Wonderful.” Another four passengers show up. “Um seriously?” Now I’m super self conscious again. The figures it out immediately, I’m not subtle about it, but I’m concerned for my passengers well being. I did reassure him though, telling him that puker did attempt to clean it up.
Next I had an accountant in my car and he was super nice and understood my situation and gave me a cash tip.
The morning is getting long and arduous, ping after ping after ping. I noticed two of my surges didn’t update so I didn’t get my $4 surge like I thought I’d get. I rang uber and they couldn’t help me. Just a glitch. I’m getting tired. The next lady in my car is super sorry about my night. She knows it’s been rough.
After dropping her off I get a scheduled ride. Him and his wife find a set of keys in my car. Fair Dinkum. Who left them in there. It must have been the lady just before you two. Great now I really have to track the owner down. There’s house keys, car keys and a gym membership on them. 🙄. My passengers are going to New York for a holiday. One day I’ll get there. I’m in America and I haven’t been to New York yet. One day I’ll get there. I didn’t feel too cheery when I dropped off my passengers.
Finally I picked up my last passenger. He was going to work. He works at one of the retirement homes in town. He was also annoyed at my situation. Puking, it must happen all the time. Nope never. My first time ever. Even when I puked in two vehicles I had a bag. After finally dropping him off. I get another ping. Arghh! I want to go home. I’m tired, grumpy and agitated I cancelled the trip and turned off the app. I sat there and thought how inconvenient my situation was. I haven’t found any other work since that bastard fired me. I cursed the man that put me in this situation in my frustration. The lengths I went to get up here to try and do my best. The reports I did, I needed more time to write them, to polish them. That whole month of February I could have worked on my writing, but he didn’t tell me about my writing until it was too late. I went home chatting to uber about the sick in my car. I sent them the photos and they said $150 goes to me and the keys left behind I should get $15 for the inconvenience.
Next day I figured out who the keys belonged to and she said she will give me $20 for my trouble. She also tipped me late as well. I told her to keep my details in case she needs an uber. She thanked me. I also found a detailing place that will clean my car for $100. Monday was when I can book it in. I’m not doing anymore ubering this weekend.
Til Monday.
