First bloke of the evening had two stops. He asked me what language do we speak in Australia? I was tempted to say something backhanded like Mandarin, but no I was honest. “English and some schools are teaching indigenous languages. There’s over 200 Traditional Owner language groups in Australia”. He was stunned. He was sure we had our own language. I said “we do have our own slang and colloquialisms”. I threw some at him “crikey, strewth, fair dinkum, woop woop, chunder, and of course g’day mate”.
It started to snow that night. One guy obviously couldn’t drive in these conditions and hit a light post. I was careful and extremely cautious. The cops were already at the scene for the poor bugger. My next passenger managed to raise $200 for the bush fire relief fund in Australia. How kind of them. It really puts into perspective that Australia is being looked after by millions of people. We have unique flora and fauna, and we have the best beer you’ll ever taste. Not to mention our wine. Just true blue dinky di top notch fair dinkum grog. Oh we have good tucker too. My passenger and I saw another vehicle driver try and do a 20 point turn on a hill with on coming traffic. Patience is a virtue here.
After waiting a good five minutes, we were able to go around the vehicle. Hooray, my passengers rejoiced and partied like it was 1999. I dropped them off at a local bar in town. Then I decided to have mini break and join my mates at their home to play darts. I only stayed for 5 minutes when I got a ping from Patricia. I drove to the apartments and there was a bloke standing where a woman should have been. Nope. Patricia aka Patrick was a bloke from the Congo who used to be in the United States military for a decade until he was told to retire after several injuries sustained in the service. He told me when was in Qatar he and many others would find the UK and Aussie forces, because they always had grog. I am guessing the yanks weren’t allowed or some were underage. My passenger told me to make a stop at a servo on the way to his destination. I sat there and spied a man with a block of cheese on his head. A Green Bay Packers fan. it was the night before the Seahawks v Packers game. I could tell by the people in the fuel station shop he was getting hammered verbally by the people inside. Friendly banter though. He walked out and I was tempted to say wrong city mate! I didn’t. My rider came out and laughed at the cheese head and the people giving it to him inside. My passenger said “things were getting heated in there”. His accent thick and pronounced. Made me laugh hysterically. I liked this guy. Could be mates with him.
I dropped him off and went our separate ways. I picked up a Brazilian lady who was is studying chemistry. We discussed what she wanted to do and she went on about languages instead. The discussion led to the Khmer language in Cambodia. She didn’t know any, but I impressed her with various words I knew. Tamor buy kreeum – stickey rice block. Ah koon – thank you. Sook sa buy daay – hello how are you? I still remember these words along with some of the swear words. Joy – is the F word. Yep that’ll do.
My next passenger was studying human sexuality and had an interest in anthropology. Her friend also in my vehicle, works at Bob’s Burgers. Then I had a prosecutor and a person from the air force. A rugby fan, who loved my Penrith Panther seat covers.
More passengers graced my car including a political science major, marketing, and some business students. One asked me “what would be a useless degree?” I thought for a moment and responded “philosophy”. I said that because I personally have never known anyone besides academics to get a job in the field. I’m sure people can, but what do they do? My passengers agreed with me.
A very opinionated insurance worker followed that steady stream of people. Wanted healthcare free and the mail system to be public funded. It surprised me. “Wouldn’t you be without a job?” “Yes, but I’d die knowing people wouldn’t be in debt for their healthcare”.
Now my next customer told me why he ubers. “Why’s that?” I asked. “Well, since I have been drinking I never drive home, I always find another means to get home”. I said “makes sense, you don’t want a DUI do you?” Then his tone became more sombre, “My father was killed by a drunk driver 10 years ago”. My voice went soft, “I’m awfully sorry to hear that mate, I don’t know what I would have done if I was in your shoes, I hope they caught him”. My passenger responded “they never found the driver, my dad was walking across the road in Birch Bay and he was hit. The driver drove off. The police suspected a drunk driver”. The words of my passenger struck me to my core. This poor bugger. My rider went on “Karma would have got him for sure, he also has to live with knowing he killed someone”. With a deep breath I replied, “mate I hope for your sake that person turns themselves in”.
After arriving at his destination I apologised again for what that man had been through. He nodded and and said “it’s OK I’m over it now, I just want my father to rest easy and that the driver is brought to justice one day. If I hit a pedestrian I would stop my car and get out immediately. I could never be apart of a hit and run. It’s deplorable and a vial act. A cowards way out. Then a ping from a bloke called Gregor, yep Gregor Mendel is what I thought of. The monk who figured out genetics from peas. My passenger was no monk or into peas. He was from San Francisco and keen for a beverage. I took him to a bar in town.
Next customers were from Texas and were trying to get to Canada. Unfortunately they couldn’t due to one bloke having a DUI from 16 years ago. I didn’t say anything about one of my former passengers. My riders have been in Washington State working on a wind farm, until one worker died from a trench collapsing on them. The people digging the trench didn’t shaw up the trench walls. As a results the walls of a five foot deep trench collapsed on the poor bloke. Apparently it was all over the news, as a result the job was shut down. The crazy thing is I could have worked on that wind farm job, but declined because I was doing another job with another company. I must admit Australia seems way ahead of America when it comes to safety. The amount of training you have to do before you even step foot on a job site can be intense. I recall working on the light rail job in Sydney. There was an online safety video and quiz, with a full day of training on how to not injure your back. Not to mention the daily safety meetings added to the mix. I told my riders I worked on a wind farm job in San Diego. They asked me which company was building it. “Blattner”. Funnily enough my riders had worked for Blattner before. They asked me which foreman I was working with I mentioned a bloke from Minnesota and they knew him instantly. They couldn’t believe my connections. That bloke rings me every now and then too. Funny bugger used to ogle all the rental 4wds I’d bring out. He particularly like the 8 seat Ford expedition. “Can I borrow it for the weekend?” He’d ask me. “Haha nah mate it’s a rental”.
After I plonked my passengers off at Rumours. I got a Bolivian in her Pjs. Who told me about archaeological sites from her home country. Said it was impossible for humans to build. Oh yeah I’m sure.
Then doctors from New York, with a bloke who used to sell viagra in B’ham. He is now a salesman for Metronics. A pacemaker company. Another way to kick start the heart š¤£š. My rider said that there are only three companies in the world that make pacemakers. I told him my grandad has one. “Which brand does he have?” He asked. “I honestly wouldn’t have a clue, I’ll have to find out”.
Ping! My next passenger wants to president one day. A political science major who thinks he can do a better job than Trump. I certainly think he could.
Many more passengers on this slamming Saturday. I’d never been so busy! The owner of an organic food factory in Blaine told me about the rising of organic produce in Whatcom County. Then I had some frat boys who were wondering what was happening to Australia and bushfires. One was super keen on Australian women. He had encountered some Aussie sheilas in Europe and fell head over heels. Easy tiger.
Next was a shiela called Lexxie, I mean bloke. For the second time that evening I thought it was a woman and found a dude who maintains farm equipment. As I was driving away from his house we both spied a deer on a wall. How’d it get up there? Jumped? I don’t know it was the strangest thing I had seen in 2020.
The following lady spilled water on my backseat and assured me it was urine. Obviously after I dropped her off I examined the area and sure enough it was…water. Phew!
Then a customer called Rochelle, surely that’s a woman? Nope, but this time it was her boyfriend. OK she booked it on behalf of him.
Finally two Canadians heading to Maui. Lucky buggers. Told them they were my last ride of the evening/morning. Time to go home. 20 Trips Uber and 9 rides Lyft. A new record! 29 Trips in one night. Found out a new University semester had started. The snow had finally fallen that night with it to stick around for a week.
