Another day, another 0.50 cents. Okay it was a little more than that today, but my first customer was a massage therapist not a dodgy one, an actual one who uses aromatherapy and strong hands to relieve your back pain. Just imagine a table with a face cut hole in it. Sounds of the whales playing and lavender wafting out of the front door, with a hint of jasmine. Ahh yes breath deep reader. You disrobe and cover yourself with a sheet. Then walks in Greg, he squirts his hands with lotion and begins the rub down. Popping and cracking your back like there’sno tomorrow. Okay it was a lady called Liv and she was sweetheart. An older lady from Canada who really has a fairly simple job. I said to her “I’m apparently good at massages”. Technique is key though and you have to be trained to know what you can and can’t do. She told me “When I learned massage therapy it went against everything I thought I knew”. I said “So my technique is probably not remotely correct?” “Probably not, plus massage therapy is different to physio and chiropractic services”. Well my dreams of becoming Greg were now shattered especially when she said it can take 2 or even 4 years to get your certification. Never mind then.
My next passenger was a psychology student. Who knew a lot about Sigmund Freud. The father of psychoanalysis coming up with id, the ego, and superego. This being beyond me my passenger alluded to the fact that Freud carked it from a drug overdose. Wow! I actually didn’t know this about the man. He obviously had his demons or he experimented too much.
Next was a bloke from south of the border. Mexico. La Paz located in Baja on the western side of the country. It is known for its epic sunsets over the Pacific Ocean. My passenger told me about uber in Mexico and how it is overpriced and people use it as a ploy to kidnap people. Crikey crumbs. The thought of kidnapping my passengers doesn’t sound like a fun time to me at all. Most of the time I want them in and out of my car asap. It’s the money that I want to earn from driving people around. Kidnapping sounds extremely difficult and annoying. I want someone to make a movie of the awkward regret of kidnapping someone. Yes a dark comedy of the person accidentally kidnapping someone or someone thinks it’s a good idea and realises it was a dumb idea. Think about it, now you have an extra mouth to feed, constant bodily functions, and the irritating sounds they might make. Not to mention if you hurt them now you might have to clean it up. Oh and kidnapping someone in general. You would need to buy all the equipment and find the right time to kidnap them. Also the person themselves has to be the right size. Plus all the medical crap the person might deal with day to day. No thanks! I had a mate kidnapped once for eight months and it was shocking. I still couldn’t help, but wonder why would you bother? Maybe there’s money involved, but still no bloody way! Don’t get me started with murder, that doesn’t sound good either. I hate the site of blood and dealing with the body after sounds horrendous. No thanks! I’ll stick to finding the dead.
After dropping off my new amigo, I picked up a lady who deals with kids with autism. She went on a huge rant about how autism is not due to vaccines. It’s a genetic disorder that rears its ugly head every once in a while. Vaccines stop diseases like polio, mumps, meningococcal, and other nasties. It sounds like she has a rewarding job integrating kids with special needs, which is fantastic.
3 rides uber and 1 trip Lyft. Just a short day. But a whopper is next!
