The airport. It’s only good if you get there before everyone else. I did. Colby Jack a firefighter for an oil refinery flying in from Houston. A rather a dangerous job. A man about 5’10. Black hair, gold chains around his neck and gold rings. He looked like the actor who played Ibrahim the crime lord in the Australian drama series Underbelly. We talked about why he was in such a hazardous job. To pay for his spending habits was his response. I was dropping him off at a jujitsu place in town to watch his sons compete.
I dropped him off with all his luggage that he had with him. At least 4 bags for one person. They were all manageable though. He had gifts for his sons. I told him he’s a good dad. Then drove off. Ping! Guy called Preston needed to be picked up at Kulshan Brewery. Then he cancelled. Bummer. That really sucks.
I went back to the airport and picked up a lady who works for ERM. An environmental company. They’re in Europe, Australia and here in the US. I used to know a few people who worked in the Sydney office. Archaeologists, but they have moved on. One now works for Austral and the other for a tribe in Omak, Washington. I asked about if they hire archies in the states. Sometimes was the response. ERM are like AECOM and Cardno and Goldar Associates. Everywhere!
Next was a Canadian couple off to Hearthfire. They told me they lived in Gympie for a few months. What? In QLD? Did you hear about the Gympie pyramid? No was the response. It’s literally a natural formation that appears to be a pyramid. There’s a conspiracy that it was built thousands of years ago and then after colonisation the military destroyed it. My former honours supervisor told me he did a survey around it to humour the local residents. It’s just natural. I recall in 2004 going to a second hand bookstore on the Gold Coast, QLD. The man behind the counter said hi. I asked him if he had any books on archaeology? Yes, he said he pointed to the back wall then went on this rant about aliens building the pyramids and that Gympie had one. At the time I was intrigued, because I had never heard of this tale. As I obsessively looked into it, I realized it was a load of crap. I hate it when that happens. You get jaded and somewhat frustrated. Archaeology can do that. It can make you eccentric and absorbed into the depths of research that potentially leads nowhere. You can say you can lose yourself into a myth or legend. Look at all those explorers that perished trying to find the city of gold in the Amazon jungle. Even looking at the modern archaeologists trying their hardest to answer some of the keys questions to human civilization. You have to be a little bit nuts. I know my passion for archaeology is still there, but CRM compliance archaeology is not exciting me as much as it used to. My passion lies in my own research questions that I’m not sure if I have the motivation to pursue anymore. Part of me wants to delve into the world of eccentric academic pursuits. Not atlantis though. That will remain a mystery.
Back to my passengers. They wanted me to rattle off some slang like servo, smoko, etc. Done! Then I found out they needed me to pick them up later. They lived in Ferndale. Great fare to add to my spoils. I found my passenger was an entrepreneur and started a business analyzing livestock from a green house gas point of view. He analysed methane from cattle and found that cattle in the southern hemisphere became heavier due to an extra 2 kilograms of gas built up into the gut. It is unclear why this is, but it happens.
My passengers told me they lived in Argentina for about 2 years and that Canada is very tight and conservative with their money. The USA, literally will spend money on anything. His profits in Canada are only 2% in comparison to 60% in the USA. I dropped off and then told me to pick them up in 2 hrs. Sure thing.
My next passenger was one of my VIPs. A good friend in B’ham. She is now one of my regulars for Friday’s.
Two sheilas were ready to picked up after a big night of drinking. One asked if I was putting my accent on. Definitely not. Apparently someone in B’ham has been doing a British accent to make the night more entertaining for himself. As he was doing it, it fell back into American. What a shame. She didn’t understand why he did it. I said because he was probably getting a kick out of it. I’m not going to be doing any stupid accents. Why bother? Just be yourself right?
After dropping them off Big Bill, an African-American man, was my next customer. He was pumping iron in Ferndale. A Baltimore Ravens fan from Detroit. He moved to Washington State after the downturn of 2008. He used to work in the auto industry, now he’s a manager at Lowe’s. I liked the guy, he was very easy going and well mannered. I almost missed his turn off because we talking about Washington state. I dropped him off and he told me to be careful out there. He’s right the rain is bucketting down. The precipitation was relentless this evening. My wipers need to be changed and the inside of windscreen needs to be scrubbed. Didn’t notice that until the windows started to fog up.
My new VIPs were ready. I told them I’ll be there in 10 minutes. I had decided to hang by the airport for the next plane coming in, but there was no need. The Canadians wanted to go home to Ferndale. We discussed Australia some more and Bundaberg Rum. They used to drink the Bundaberg ginger beer over there and were excited to find it on the west coast of the USA. They said the more east you go, the less cultured it gets with food from other countries.
After dropping them off I made way back south when I got a fellow ping me in Ferndale. He wanted to go to the casino. The Silver Reef. He had a flutter on the pokies that same evening. $1000 to be exact. He wanted to see how far his luck will go a second time. Didn’t tip me though. It’s fine, just gamble it all away. It’s funny he said he loves using uber and tipping on the app. Um yeah.
Got a short trip at the airport. A flight attendant in training. Only going up the road to the shamrock motel. I dropped her off. The hotel looked sketchy but she was only going to be there for 6 hrs. Then she was going to pop over the border to Canada and get a visa sorted. Talk about a whirlwind trip.
Another trip at the airport. Kate from Kauai. Her husband was with her and they were just visiting. They were going to their catamaran at the dock. They had charted the vessel there a few weeks prior. How long is that trip? A few days. Wow. They had gone home to settle some business before they charted the boat back to Hawaii.
Three speech pathologists needed to be taken home from the nightclub. I told them about the fascinating guy I had in my car who had a stroke and managed to rewire his brain. As I went onto their street I noticed a large chalk image of a flower at the intersection. No one knows who did it, but it comes and goes from time to time.
They all thanked me and I proceeded to pick up a guy called Napoleon. He had been throwing small rocks at his girlfriend’s window to wake her up. Apparently she had passed out and was rather inebriated. I thought if I had thrown a rock at a window it’d probably shatter into a thousand pieces and I’d be forced to bolt in the other direction. The guy is a roofer and said he keeps pretty busy on the islands.
Following him was a slang whore. He couldn’t get enough of my Aussie slang. I threw so much at him from fair dinkum to stone the flaming crows, even some crikey and a bit of bogan. He was just stoked that his vocabulary was expanding. He particularly liked stickey beak and carked it. Yobbo and nong were also favs.
My next customer works at the Auto license place in B’ham. I said my cars rego needs to be renewed soon. She said to come right in and she’ll handle it. Sweet. Too easy.
Now my next passenger needed to go to Lynden from a pub called the Slo Pitch. Oh boy he was sloshed. He even said he was sloshed. I agreed with him. He was a 5’7, 200 pound bald Mexican that was proud of his American military service. He got annoyed at me for getting out of a few traffic infringements, using the foreign card, but then laughed at me. He sounded like Steven Segal. But deeper.
He wanted to show me his guns and dogs so desperately when I dropped him off that I faked a new passenger and left. Had a weird vibe. He was struggling to get into his house anyway. Could have been there all morning.
Here I was now in Lynden. It’s 2.45 am. Do I risk going back to B’ham? Rolled the dice. I wasn’t ready to go home. I hadn’t got my quota. Got back into town and noticed it was quiet. I put the rider app on. Watch the cars and saw if they’ll get a ping and disappear from the map. Sure enough one did in the north. I decided to make my way north to home anyway and then ping! I got a passenger. I got there it was a scheduled trip. The couple were off the Grand Canyon at 3.30 am in the morning. Flight was at 5 am. I discovered a vape on the passenger seat. Really don’t know who’s that is. Yuck. Meanwhile I found umbrella at the beginning of the night that I forgot to mention. My passengers were ready to go, until I said passengers have left a hairbrush, vape, sunglasses and an umbrella. Then the lady said sunglasses. She told me to wait. So I did. She ran into the house looking for the eyewear. She ran out and then we were off.
As I was dropping them off I got a ping from two band members of Oliver Tree dropping off an car rental at the airport. They were heading to Blaine. Ha. Home time. They told me they were playing down under. Day on the Green is when they’ll be playing. I told them all the cool spots to go. They loved that I had water in my car and one chap loved the word wanker. As he was leaving he said have a good night you wanker jokingly. Then I noticed his mobile phone on the chair as he was leaving. I told him, then he said I guess I’m now the wanker. 🤣😂
That’s all until soon.
