Eight weeks in after delivering food with Viking Foods gave me a whole different perspective on life. I am not a fan of working in the food delivery industry as much as ride sharing. Why? Well let’s just say picking up and dropping off aren’t glamorous by any means, on the otherhand I didn’t succumb to being a scab on unemployment.
Monday
My Monday, a Monday not so far back in my distant past. Started wonderfully with an awkward tandem address. The house I needed to drop off a burrito was hot where it was supposed to be. I knocked on the door of someone called Megan that’s Meg an not Meeg an for those of you playing in other parts of the world. Yes Megan Fox is actually Meg an not Meeg an. I knock on the door. A lady answers, “Meg an? Did you order a burrito?” “No, I didn’t”, said the lady who answered the door. “Is this not 1234 XX Rd?” I asked. “Yes it is” she answered. “Is your name Meg an?” “No it isn’t” I’m really perplexed. Who ordered the burrito? Was it a gift? A joke or??? Then it dawned on me. “Is there another house on the same property?” “Yes, behind mine”. Really? I thought, you wouldn’t think to mention that while I’m trying to deliver this possibly cold burrito? Fair freaking dinkum! I walk around the back and knock and drop. In the space that it took me to figure out. I have probably missed out on several orders in this wonderful lack of information. Why not a note stating the obvious? Sorry mate you get to play a fun game of figuring out the mystery house. What’s funny is that addresses like these have a letter for the initial house and a different letter for second house A for house number 1 and B for house number 2. This was not the case. Perhaps it was a momentary lapse of concentration from the city when the new house was zoned or somebody out there just didn’t care about future delivery drivers and delivery drivers.
I could have rung the burrito orderer called Meg an, but I left my phone mounted in my car on the vent clip, plugged into the charger. I would this to prevent me taking it out and putting back in. If I was in a rush the phone would pop out the clip and drop onto the floor. Murphy and his laws will dictate if you don’t place the phone into the clip securely at the beginning of your day, you will be forever watching your phone randomly pop out and hit your vehicles floor or seat or in some magical circumstances your groin.
On this Monday, I had multiple orders from the Leaf and Ladle. I had never heard of this restaurant, but due to covid19 they had shut down indefinitely. Prior to covid19 I still had never heard of this place in the two years I had lived in Whatcom County.
Tuesday
I went to the hospital to drop off some food for a nurse. It made me super nervous due to Covid19. As I waited for the lady I saw weird shimmer by the door of the ICU. It made the hair stand on the back of my neck. What did I just see? Was it a reflection or a ghost of deceased patient. My mind was working overtime right then and there. The nurse eventually showed up after I had to text her. I asked her if she had ever seen a ghost here? She replied with “I see ghosts here all the time, you block them out here after a while”. She was either pulling my leg or telling the truth. My mid was working overtime. I don’t usually believe in that sort of stuff, however I have experienced some weird anomalies in my time. From UFOs to sleep paralysis twice in the night to even discovering a house in Melbourne that I used to live in may have been inhabited by a dead bloke who had probably the worst fireplaces on the planet. It damn nearly killed me. That’s a story for another day. Maybe I will add in Paul’s Spooky Stories and Weird Stuff another time.
Wednesday
My Wednesday started with me finding out about all the countries and states doing 14 days of quarantine before you can move around freely after entering the border. In the of Philadelphia they are quarantining for 15 days before anyone could come in. Hawaii was 14 days. At your own expense of course. Places like New Zealand were at the time paying for their citizens to quarantine in 4-5 star hotels. It made me think gee Australia is really looking out for their citizens in this pandemic. As I was driving around I stopped to watch a majestic white cockerel cross the road. Then all these why did the chicken cross the road jokes popped into my head. The real answer was obvious though, it clearly wanted to get to the other side. No jokes about it. This chicken was on a mission! Colonel Sanders would have described the chicken as succulent.
That day, the owner of Cascade Pizza gave me free garlic bread. It was bloody delicious and probably the best garlic bread I have eaten in a very long time! After the pizza drop I went to go pickup some Mexican food. I encountered a lady at the front desk and asked her about the current order. She said “My English is very bad no one understands me” I replied “That’s okay, I’m Australian no one understands me either”. We both laughed and I left.
My boss at Viking Foods told me my new mask and hand sanitiser had arrived. I walked into the office and looked at the most bizarre mask I had ever seen. It made me look like a bloody pig or Bane from the comic book series Batman. See below.
This mask does have replacement filters. However it doesn’t cover my face fully. Not sure if it actually works properly or not? As I was driving around I noticed fuel had gone back up by 0.20 cents a gallon. Ping! Last order of the day was by bloke with the last name Rambo. Couldn’t help but wonder about the John Rambo films. Guess the name had to come from somewhere.
Thursday
The next day I wore that silly mask and I felt stupid wearing it. All masks were mandatory in shops and restaurants and in some public venues. I felt embarrassed wearing it, when some sheila said “Nice mask, where do you get that from?” I thought is this person for real? I told her. Then I thought, you could wear anything and someone is either going to compliment you or shoot you down. The world is a bizarre place.
I noticed a school bus on that Thursday and saw all these kids lining up to collect their lunches. In America if you can’t afford lunches, parents can order it through the public system. It’s actually not a bad idea. Australia never did that. Pat on the back America. Oh yes since schools were closed and children were doing home schooling they were delivering the food to the home school kids. It’s like Uber Eats or Viking Foods for kids.
Friday
My Friday started off strange. I dropped off food to apt 214. The lady who answered the door said it wasn’t her food. So I thought maybe I had a moment of dyslexia, so I knocked on the door of 241. I dropped it off the food there instead. An elderly lady was over the moon by the food and thanked me repeatedly and said “it must be a gift, it’s nice and warm thank you”. I went back to the car to discover it was indeed apartment 214 in application. What? I was waiting to be reprimanded for dropping the food at the wrong apartment. No one ever said anything. I wondered if it was them that screwed up and as a result my dyslexia rectified the issue without realising it. Heh well.
I had to pick up an order from the Hawaii BBQ place. That bloody woman was at it again with her hating of the world. I left with everything, well so I thought and she called me back to say “Can you come back? I stuffed up the order”. I had to turn around my car James Bond style in the middle of the road so I could fix this issue. I had to wait for her to remake the order. Oh boy. I then took the order the Sunset Apartments and I honestly felt I was in zombie apocalypse movie there. The people there were derelict moving around aimlessly. Staring at me. I felt like COVID19 had mutated and turned the populace into the walking dead! Turns out they weren’t interested in my flesh or brains. They wanted meth or ice. I still didn’t feel comfortable in this area at all.
My final order of the day took me over to Suddenly there’s a Valley. I was wondering if my job applications in Australia would get me back into my career that I had worked so hard for. Sydney or Melbourne? Two companies I had interviewed for. Then suddenly I saw a woman with a Bunnings Warehouse backpack and hat! Fair Dinkum! I stopped in the middle of the road. Of all the bloody places Bunnings Warehouse merchandise. For anyone who doesn’t know Bunnings is a hardware store like Lowes or Home Depot. I yelled out to the lady on the bike “How on earth did you get that? The Bunnings merch? Are you lost?” She stopped and looked back and said “No I’m American, I live around here” “How did you get that?” I asked. She laughed and replied “I lived in Melbourne for a year on a travelling working visa, I worked at Bunnings Warehouse whilst I was there”. It some strange and twisted fate I think Melbourne was calling me to work there. In all the four years I had never seen anyone have something so obscure as a Bunnings backpack since living in the USA. It was a sign. I had to go back to Australia and try earn enough to buy a house. I will have one more week left and then take four weeks to pack so I could go back downunder to work again as an archaeologist.
Next up my final Uber rides with some excess food deliveries.
